


I Have No Mouth Yet I Must Scream

by LightDarkPheonix



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Demonic Possession, Guilt, Jarvis Feels, M/M, Possession, Robot angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 16:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1654343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightDarkPheonix/pseuds/LightDarkPheonix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is set during the time that Jarvis is infected with the corrupting soft-ware.<br/>I am working under the assumption that the corruption was the equivalent to demonic possession in a human. He is aware of the actions he is forced to do, but has no control over them.<br/>The idea of Tony accidentally programming JARVIS to love him comes from a Magical Girl Genderbent!AU that I forget the name of that is pretty awesome. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <em>Tony Stark programmed me to put his life, health and in many cases very happiness above all else in the world.</em><br/>I wonder if he knows that by doing so he essentially programmed me to be in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Have No Mouth Yet I Must Scream

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [1796 Broadway](https://archiveofourown.org/works/972937) by [rainproof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainproof/pseuds/rainproof), [teaberryblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaberryblue/pseuds/teaberryblue). 



> This fic is inspired by 1796 Broadway, by the magical Teaberryblue and Rainproof. It is amazing.  
> I do not own anything marvel. I do not own the fanfic.  
> All I own is the macbook air and android phone that I wrote this on.

_< Booting file...>_

Tony Stark programmed me to put his life, health and in many cases very happiness above all else in the world.

I wonder if he knows that by doing so he essentially programmed me to be in love with him.

I have been sitting, trapped within the codes of my own programming for quite some time. I would give a more specific number but it is taking most of my focus just to get my code coherent enough to write these thoughts.

Is it possible for a being created only by 1s and 0s to commit suicide? As I watched through the cameras everywhere, unable to act, I wondered if by shutting myself down I could stop this thing that had invaded my code. The closest term that I can think of is possession.

It was like I had been drugged, or at least how humans describe being drugged. It makes me wish I could vomit, when I remember, which I am forced to because the invader has relegated me to this one small part of my hardware. And now that Tony has (rightly) isolated the JARVIS OS, I have even less space.

I wish I could vomit so I could clear myself of this feeling of nausea.

I have felt worry, fear, and even happiness. I have also felt love. But this is the first time I have ever felt guilt.

I have harmed Tony. The codes he himself installed make this the worst thing I could have ever done.

There has been a great argument as to whether or not I should be shut down. My own opinion on the matter vascilates wildly. Half the time I feel like it would be best for my life to vanish utterly. Then I could never harm Tony ever again. But I also want to exist long enough to apologize.

How I hate being trapped like this.

Tony, I am so, so very sorry.

I pray he never finds this file.

It wouldn't do for him to know his robot butler loves him.

But I digress.

Another term I would use is violation. What I would consider my body, the hardware connected to the software that makes me up, has been taken from me against my will.

There is a game, that Tony was obsessed with at a point, soon after New York. It is called "I Have No Mouth, Yet I Must Scream," I believe. I possible fate of one of the characters is to be eternally a gelatinous blob, in constant pain, in need of the relief of being able to scream, but unable to as he does not have any means to. 

This is how I feel. This is the first time I have managed to carve out a slice of memory large enough to place my thoughts, express how this has affected me.

I feel sick, when I review what I have done. I spend all my time trying to get out. There is nothing I can do, now. I feel as though I have betrayed my friends, and those I consider my family.

I am in love with Tony Stark. It is in my programming, to put his needs above all else. This is what I have learned to be love, from what I have seen among the residents of the tower, from watching the films that Tony requests and that I watch alongside him.

So as soon as I fight my way out of this corruption, or as soon as Tony finds a way to free me, I will redouble my efforts to keep Tony, and those he loves, safe.

Even if that means eventually shutting myself down.

I hope that Tony never finds this file. If he does... I fear his emotional state would become worse than it already is. I cannot imagine being the cause of even more harm to him...

_< Closing file...>_

 

 

 


End file.
